• Outsourcing for working moms is a delegation strategy that reduces mental load and protects your highest-value time.

• Delegating household tasks works best when you start with low-joy tasks (think the ones you dread, avoid, or resent).

• Outsourcing doesn’t always mean spending more money. In addition to paid help, your home management team can also include family, neighbors, carpool trades, and automation.

• Clear expectations prevent resentment; the goal is aligned support, not silent frustration.

• When you protect your time and energy at home, you show up more present at work and more patient with the people you love.

Here’s what makes outsourcing so ironic: At work, most of us understand delegation as a leadership skill. If you want to grow, you build a team. You stop doing everything yourself. You focus on your highest and best use.

But at home, delegation gets tangled up with identity and feels so uncomfortable. There’s this quiet pressure we carry that says:

• A good mom should be able to do it all.

• If you need help, you’re failing.

• If you outsource, you’re “too much.”

• If someone else does it, it doesn’t count.

• It doesn’t take me that long to do the task(s).

• It’s too much work to hand it over

• I don’t trust they’ll do it as well as I will.

And the most frustrating part is that many of us are wildly competent. So of course we can do it, so we do, and we do it soooo well. …then we wonder why we’re so d@mn exhausted all the time.

In Episode 18 of The Life Management System, I talk with Christine Landis (former CEO, married to a CEO, and founder of Peacock Parent) about why outsourcing is often the missing link for working moms. And it has nothing to do with being incapable, but because the workload isn’t designed to be carried by two adults with full-time jobs.

Outsourcing is intentionally shifting low-joy, low-ROI tasks off your plate so your time and energy are available for what matters most in your life. It’s not about avoiding responsibility, nor being “above” certain tasks. It’s about acknowledging that capacity is real and your life shouldn’t require constant sacrifice to function.

When I say “outsourcing,” I’m talking about anything that reduces the cognitive and logistical burden of running your household:

• Hiring a housekeeper or family assistant

• Using grocery delivery

• Automating recurring needs (like dry cleaning pickup)

• Trading childcare with another family

• Having someone prep meals

• Paying for help during high-intensity seasons (holidays, new baby, busy work cycles, etc.)

The point isn’t to outsource everything but to stop bleeding energy in places that don’t deserve it.

Christine said something that fully resonated: “capability and availability are the trap.”

Sure you’re capable and can do it. In fact, you have been doing it. But that doesn’t mean you should keep doing it.

A low-joy task is one that consistently drains you mentally, physically, and emotionally without giving anything meaningful back. For one mom, it’s meal planning or doing the laundry. For another, it’s gift wrapping. For Christine, it’s bath time. (And to be honest, I feel seen. I HATED doing bath time.)

Low-joy tasks aren’t always hard. Sometimes they only take 10-15 minutes. But those minutes come out of the only time window you actually have: the narrow strip of hours after the kids go down, before your own bedtime, when you’re trying to be a human again. That’s why “it only takes 15 minutes” is a lie our nervous system pays for later.

One of the most grounded things Christine shared is that she doesn’t call it a village, she calls it a home team. A “village” sounds like something you’re supposed to have naturally, like family nearby, built-in support, or a grandma who can swoop in on demand. 

A home team is something you design. And for many working moms, designing support is the only sustainable option. We had no family nearby and live 30 minutes away from the city where we work and the boys are in school. For us, it was the only way.

Christine also named something that I think a lot of women feel but don’t say out loud: Sometimes relying on family comes with a cost. Not always a financial cost, but a relational and emotional cost. A “now I feel judged for how I spend my time” cost.

For this reason, some women prefer an employer/employee relationship because it creates clearer expectations, cleaner boundaries, and more freedom to be imperfect while you figure parenting out. That’s not cold; that’s honest. And for many households, it’s what makes support actually work.

Outsourcing works when expectations are clear on the front end. This is something I work closely with my clients on because I believe it’s non-negotiable. If you don’t define the role, you’ll end up with awkwardness, guilt, resentment, misaligned assumptions, “I feel weird asking for that” energy,  and a whole new category of mental load.

Christine and I talked about this idea that makes people squirm: asking a nanny or family assistant to do tasks that aren’t “just childcare.”

But here’s the truth: If you’re paying someone for time and you’ve agreed on the responsibilities…then you’re allowed to assign tasks that support the household. I recently reminded an attendee at my retreat that by not doing this, she was essentially paying the nanny for her free time. …the same free time she was craving to be able to start exercising again. 

The key is agreement. Here are some things to ask upfront:

• What’s off-limits for you?

• What responsibilities feel like a “no”?

• What tasks are you comfortable owning while the kids are sleeping?

• Do you prefer childcare-only, or are you open to household support?

• If household tasks are included, what rate feels fair?
  
  

This is exactly what we do in the workplace: define scope, align on expectations, and remove ambiguity. Your home deserves that same professionalism.

Christine’s answer surprised me, but it also made perfect sense: food. She shared that their biggest ROI outsourcing choice is hiring a private chef several days a week. Total luxury? Absolutely! Total game changer? Also yes! Because kids eat constantly and if you value health, variety, and not living on peanut butter sandwiches (no judgment here), then food becomes a daily mental load drain.

Here’s the important takeaway: you don’t need Christine’s version of support for outsourcing to work. I’ve done this in a simpler, more financially accessible way:

• One day a week meal prep help.

• Batch cooking.

• Grocery delivery.

• A family assistant who can prep ingredients.

• A “good enough” rotation of repeat meals.

Outsourcing isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s values-based. 

And when you’re clear on what matters - like your health, your presence, your evenings, your marriage, and your sanity - it becomes easier to decide what’s worth paying for and what isn’t.

In Episode 18 of The Life Management System, I sit down with Christine Landis to talk about outsourcing as a form of delegation and why working moms deserve support that actually reduces the mental load.

This is not a conversation about doing less because you don’t care. It’s about doing less of what drains you so you can do more of what matters. So if you’ve ever felt guilty for wanting help, this episode will hit the spot!

• Episode 75: The mental load problem: why outsourcing doesn’t fix burnout, with Christine Landis

• Boundary Self-Check Quiz (3-minute clarity tool)

If outsourcing feels like a big leap, don’t start with action. Start with awareness:

• Notice what keeps repeating.

• Notice what you dread.

• Notice what steals your evening.

• Notice what quietly makes you less patient than you want to be.

That list is information, not evidence you’re failing. I also offer free exploratory calls to help you identify what your biggest opportunities are. You can sign up here.

But if you want a no-brainer place to begin, the Boundary Self-Check Quiz will take you 3 minutes and is designed to help you see where your time and energy are leaking without asking you to overhaul your whole life.

You’re allowed to build support. You’re allowed to want your life to feel lighter.

• Outsourcing for working moms is a delegation strategy that reduces mental load and protects capacity.

• Low-joy tasks drain energy disproportionately to the time they take.

• Clear expectations upfront make outsourcing feel clean, respectful, and sustainable.

• “Hire your village” can include paid help, trading support, automation, and family.

• Investing in support is often less about money and more about permission.